How Society Enables Child Molesters
Charles Whitfield (2001) researched the defense tactics of accused and convicted child molesters and found that of all the defenses that a child molester has at his disposal, the most effective is our collective desire not to know. We all so much want the abuse not to have happened that when an accused person says they didn’t do it, it resonates with our own personal hopes and beliefs about the incident.
Read more about this research from The Leadership Council’s post
“Society gives the image of sexual violators as weird, ugly, anti-social, alcoholics. Society gives the impression that violators kidnap children are out of their homes and take them to some wooded area and abandon them after the violation. Society gives the impression that everyone hates people who violate children. If all of these myths were true, healing would not be as challenging as it is.
Half of our healing is about the actual abuse. The other half is about how survivors fit into society in the face of the myths that people hold in order to make themselves feel safe. The truth is that 80% of childhood sexual abuse is perpetrated by family members. Yet we rarely hear the word “incest”. The word is too ugly and the truth is too scary. Think about what would happen if we ran a campaign to end incest instead of childhood sexual abuse. The number one place that children should know they are safe is in their homes. As it stands, as long as violators keep sexual abuse within the family, the chances of repercussion by anyone is pretty low. Wives won’t leave violating husbands, mothers won’t kick their violating children out of the home, and violating grandparents still get invited to holiday dinners. It is time to start cleaning house. If we stop incest first, then we will strengthen our cause against all sexual abuse.”
― Rosenna Bakari, Talking Trees facebook page
It’s easy to assume that the end of an abusive relationship means the end of the problems caused by abuse. This may happen for a few people, but it’s not true for everyone!
Your old life doesn’t just snap back into place immediately. You changed, and others changed along with you. – Thomas Fiffer
The lingering effects of abuse, and the extent of the damage that it is caused may only become apparent some time later. You will also find that coping with the abuse has changed your way of interacting with others, lowered your self-esteem and distanced you from those close to you (or, those who were
close to you but no longer are.
If this sounds overwhelming and depressing then remember that recovering is both possible, and worthwhile. You can begin to have the good life you deserve. You might find it helpful to read the excellent article below – and to share it with those close to you, to help them understand that possible reactions after the end of the abuse – and what can be done to help.
The Unspoken Secrets about Life After Abuse by Thomas Fiffer (The Good Men Project)
It’s my fault, it’s always my fault: Self-Blame (traumadissociation.wordpress.com)
Posttraumatic Stress Disorder (traumadissociation.com)
Denial: A psychological defense against trauma (traumadissociation.wordpress.com)
If the Abuse is Ongoing (traumadissociation.wordpress.com)
Being male and a survivor (traumadissociation.wordpress.com)
The Misconcepts of Misandry (hatred against men) (rhsroyalreport.wordpress.com)
Signs of being in a pscyhologically abusive relationship (violencehurts.wordpress.com)
We are joining the Blog for Mental Health 2015 community. Here is our blog’s pledge:
I pledge my commitment to the Blog for Mental Health 2015 Project. I will blog about mental health topics not only for myself, but for others. By displaying this badge, I show my pride, dedication, and acceptance for mental health. I use this to promote mental health education in the struggle to erase stigma.
Blog for Mental Health 2015
Walsh (2012) defines self-harm (referring to direct self harm) as
self-inflicted physical harm severe enough to cause tissue damage or leave visible marks that do not fade within a few hours. Acts done for the purpose of suicide, or for ritual, sexual or ornamental purposes are not considered self-injury.
Today is March 1st – it’s Self Injury Awareness Day.
Self injury is also known as direct self harm, or non-suicidal self injury. It is not a mental disorder but is common in people with mental health difficulties.
Self harm is when someone intentionally damages or injuries their body. It is recognized as a way to cope with overwhelming feelings, which does not have suicidal intent. It is an attempt to stay alive by alleviating overwhelming emotional distress.
Self harm is linked to many mental health conditions, and often concealed. It is not “just to get attention”, and it should not be minimized or dismissed. Many people who self harm feel shame or guilt as a result, and will try to keep their self harming secret.
The aim of the Trauma and Dissociation project is to increase the information on Trauma and Dissociative Disorders online, in order to take away the fear of the “unknown” and fight the stigma of mental health disorders.
Blogging for Mental Health 2014
Blogging for Mental Health 2014
We started blogging in September 2013 and this year we’ve joined A Canvas of the Minds in blogging about mental health. Here’s our pledge for 2014:
I pledge my commitment to the Blog for Mental Health 2014 Project. I will blog about mental health topics not only for myself, but for others. By displaying this badge, I show my pride, dedication, and acceptance for mental health. I use this to promote mental health education in the struggle to erase stigma. from http://acanvasoftheminds.com/2014/01/07/blog-for-mental-health-2014/
The Trauma and Dissociation Project
Our project started in January 2013 with an information website about Dissociative Identity Disorder, and in March we began the larger site which was edited and reviewed collaboratively, until Oct 2014.
Since November 2014 our new website has been available at http://traumadissociation.com and as the name refelects, this covers all the Trauma & Stressor and Dissociative Disorders.
The website is written based on academic sources, primarily books and journals written by experts in each field.
Our social networking projects also share some personal experiences from different people affected by the disorders – either personally or from the view of professions working in mental health.