Breaking the silence of stigma: Marci describes her life both with, and outside of mental illness. She also talks the medication/treatment “zombie” stereotype.
I have my days, more than most. I am mostly depressed. Walking to the mailbox is exhausting and considered an accomplishment. I stay in my room and hide from the world. I don’t feel like eating, it seems pointless and food has lost its flavor anyways. All I want to do is sleep but I can’t.
The thoughts won’t slow down long enough to allow me to rest.
“Why me? This isn’t fair? I just want it to end. You’re over reacting. I wish I could escape. What did I do to deserve this? You’re stupid. Just snap out of it. Why me?…”
I can’t sit still, my legs shake and my heart pounds as I try to anticipate what is coming next… How bad will it get this time? Will I need to be hospitalized again? Have my medicine changed again? Should I call someone?
I live 75-90%…
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